Hong Kong Phooey

Dan (an interviewer): Sir, since events started to deteriorate in the Ukraine, your supporters have been highly critical of the current administration. They complain quite vocally that you would have handled things differently. Given your administration's special relationship with Mr Putin and how close your families have become - Ivanka's friendship with Mr Putin's rumoured muse Wendi Deng springs to mind - perhaps you can share some thoughts on how you would diffuse this crisis ? Town & Country Magazine US Open Box, Sep 2016: Ivanka illustrating a manual technique to Wendi which appears to guarantee hilarious results Trump (an interviewee): Well Dan you see the current Shitehouse administration is bad, perhaps the worst. Definitely the worst I have seen and believe me I have seen them all. Nobody has seen more administrations than me. All bad, low average at best. Except mine of course, mine was excellent; the best administration that anyone can remember, bett...

While flat-earthers presumably calibrate differently, most of us subscribe to the notion that the earth turns full circle once every 24 hours but the opinions of govts and people take a little longer to come around.  It was as far back as March 2010 that Jim Inhofe, a deservedly obscure Oklahoma senator, lambasted Al Gore, declaring that climate change was "the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people".  Talking balls: Inhofe in 2015 Proving that 'weather' and 'climate' can be confused at the highest levels  of government, even by the Chair of the Senate Environment Committee Snowball stunt Inhofe's divisive appointment to chair the Senate Environment Committee in 2014 and the US 's 2017 announcement to withdraw from the Paris Agreement on climate change underscored unwavering, if flawed, convictions.  So in 2021 it was with much overdue relief that we heard Special Envoy John Kerry finally pronounce COP26 as "the last best hope for t...

Rain clouds brooding over Victoria Peak, HK Island, seen from the Kowloon Peninsular Men are known for bragging and of course size is always important. In the time-honoured anecdote about the rivalry between Texas and Oklahoma, a Texan guy says he can drive all day and still be driving on his own land. In fact with a little coffee he can drive all night and at daybreak he will still be driving on his own land.  The guy from Oklahoma spits his chewing tobacco at his dog and admits to the Texan that he can just about remember a time when they used to have cars like that in Oklahoma too.   The amount of land you own or the space you live in are indicators of your personal freedom and for many these have come to mean more than money in the bank, cars in the garage or implants in the erogenous zones.  Space in the city gives you the freedom to make as much noise as you like without upsetting the neighbors.  Likewise space in the country allows you to shoot things whi...

As the Christmas decorations are packed away and we start to reconsider the wisdom of some of our New Year's resolutions, many of us are already looking forward to Lunar New Year and Valentine's Day, trying to put last year firmly behind us. Most of us would be happy to see 2020 entirely written off.  Written off like that interview for our dream job in which we  probably  should not have quoted extensively from 'The Life of Brian'.  Written off like that wetsuit which took an hour to squeeze into before we had to cut ourself out of it in an emergency after taking some ill-advised super-strength laxatives.  Or perhaps written off like the blind date who turned up for dinner looking like Monica Bellucci on an evening when we decided to dress down, wearing corduroy pants and Brut 33 aftershave. Monica Bellucci : not someone to disappoint on a dinner date The global media spent most of 2020 focused on CoVid-19; the ways in which it was being mismanaged and the rac...

And so it came to pass that a sad and lonely playground bully who went by the name of Do'Nald of the Small Hands, was delivered unto the Land of Opportunity by his family fleeing the social leprosy which afflicted them in The Old World.  Here he chased an empty life of conjured wealth, women with long shanks and highly unsavoury personal friends.  Then one night he received a mighty revelation as a fierce storm called 'Daniels' rumbled over his ignoble, garish and bankrupt house.  Do'Nald received the enlightenment that in fact he was not the problem in the lives of all those around him, he did not need to change, rather it was everybody else. And so he declared himself a champion of the people and set himself upon a path to change the lives of everyone by refashioning them in his own image. No contest:  an intelligent, eloquent, high-profile celebrity owner of multiple successful businesses  vs Donald Trump Rolling Stone feature article Do'Nald journeyed far a...