Hong Kong Phooey

While we try to make all business meetings productive, some turn out to be a waste of time and just occasionally they become an exercise in complete self-sabotage. I still flinch when recalling the latter during my first visit to Abu Dhabi in 2014. The venue itself could not have been more promising; Abu Dhabi's world renowned 7-star Emirates Palace Mandarin Oriental hotel with its cool, cavernous lobby, a classical pianist gently practicing his foreplay on the ivories and herbal teas to welcome all those who crossed the threshold. We had been summoned by the most respected of Saudi clients to solve a contractual wrangle which had escalated via increasingly irritated emails. The Emirates Palace Mandarin Oriental Abu Dhabi;  quite possibly the only place to buy Snickers bars from a solid gold vending machine. On the other hand, The Palace's $1 Million Deal will help you to spend US$1m in 7 days with a private jet, chauffeur-driven car and personal butler. (NB: it is not clear ...

This week we witnessed a ground-breaking historical moment as the British govt provided incontrovertible proof to a tricky question which has divided researchers and political pundits for decades;  Can a situation be contrived which will simultaneously explode into a complete clusterf@ck while at the same time implode into a total omnishambles ?  Astonishingly the government delivered such a resounding "Yes" that absolutely nobody was left in any doubt. Lunatic fringe - and a pretty wild haircut also Hints that something might be awry first surfaced when a Prime Minister who secured the greatest landslide victory in modern times went on to lose the confidence of his party and the nation mid-way through his tenure.   Said one insider in confidence; "The man in the street is OK with a Prime Minister who  promotes himself as Julius Caesar in public while quietly cavorting around like Calígula behind the scenes.  But to casually party about in the garden like N...

It was a full 30 years ago that my Design Director stealthily crept up behind me as I configured a spreadsheet with Lotus 1-2-3.  He smacked me hard across the back of my head, then bellowed to the entire office to take note that; "Computers have no place in engineering".   Moreover nobody should be wasting their time or his money by trying to show otherwise.  The end of Lotus 1-2-3 My director maintained that the best way to design something was the same way that it had always been done. He did not subscribe to trendy notions that innovating new and better methods was a central tenet of engineering.  What left an impression on me greater than the bruise from his oversized signet ring was the fact that I had just transferred in from the Channel Tunnel project where computers were already being used by many engineers.  Circa 1989: Tunnel Boring Machine inching through a subterranean cavern. Piloted by laser and computer. Ironically it was only two years earl...

Dan (an interviewer): Sir, since events started to deteriorate in the Ukraine, your supporters have been highly critical of the current administration. They complain quite vocally that you would have handled things differently. Given your administration's special relationship with Mr Putin and how close your families have become - Ivanka's friendship with Mr Putin's rumoured muse Wendi Deng springs to mind - perhaps you can share some thoughts on how you would diffuse this crisis ? Town & Country Magazine US Open Box, Sep 2016: Ivanka illustrating a manual technique to Wendi which appears to guarantee hilarious results Trump (an interviewee): Well Dan you see the current Shitehouse administration is bad, perhaps the worst. Definitely the worst I have seen and believe me I have seen them all. Nobody has seen more administrations than me. All bad, low average at best. Except mine of course, mine was excellent; the best administration that anyone can remember, bett...

While flat-earthers presumably calibrate differently, most of us subscribe to the notion that the earth turns full circle once every 24 hours but the opinions of govts and people take a little longer to come around.  It was as far back as March 2010 that Jim Inhofe, a deservedly obscure Oklahoma senator, lambasted Al Gore, declaring that climate change was "the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people".  Talking balls: Inhofe in 2015 Proving that 'weather' and 'climate' can be confused at the highest levels  of government, even by the Chair of the Senate Environment Committee Snowball stunt Inhofe's divisive appointment to chair the Senate Environment Committee in 2014 and the US 's 2017 announcement to withdraw from the Paris Agreement on climate change underscored unwavering, if flawed, convictions.  So in 2021 it was with much overdue relief that we heard Special Envoy John Kerry finally pronounce COP26 as "the last best hope for t...